Picture this: today’s motivational lunchtime speaker is billed as an adventurer – someone on a quest to scale the world’s most challenging terrain with gritted teeth and a fierce determination. It promises to be a humbling and awe inspiring experience.
She walks in. A woman, yes. Looking surprisingly slight in present company.
It turn’s out she’s a mother…There’s a disconcerted shuffling in the room.
She speaks quietly at first, but with a startling clarity, of what she has seen and what she knows. She has dug deeper, sacrificed more, and found greater resources than she ever thought imaginable in pursuit of rare species: her child and herself.
She has photographs too; though somehow, while they capture the energy and colour (and sometimes the everyday same-ness) of the landscape, it’s in her words that the uncaptured pictures emerge.
She has battled through the jungle floor of her mind, tangled with lies like ‘I’m an imposter’ and ‘I can’t do it’, and found a path of courage and conviction. She has pushed through fatigue, and the desire to just stop, curl up and give up, and has gone on.
And she has watched as others move with greater pace and sure-ity, comparisons draining her will. The culture of the jungle is tough. The monkeys mock her (worth-less, worth-less), and the child she’s been guiding safe all this time shrugs as they reach the clearing. She offers the ripest fruits of her labour. He says ‘I dont like mangos’ or ‘I hate you’.
You may laugh. Really go on, laugh.
And this is an every day quest; an ordinary, miraculous adventure of the body-mind kind, played out in technicolor.
So what would you say if you had the floor? Or if that enlightened employer was to ask Who are you now? How have you grown? And what deeper gifts do you have to give to the world and your work as a result of your mothering? During Liz’s 9 month coaching journey with me, we made space to explore all these questions. What do you recognise of yourself in her answers? I’d love to hear you add your own responses in the comments section below. I’m guessing, like her:
You are MORE than ever BEFORE
- able to rely on others, and build and sustain community. You are part of a WHOLE.
- aware of others’ needs and vulnerabilities. You care for and nourish others.
- AMAZING at multitasking and being a time-genius. Effective doesnt even come close to describing your gifts.
- appreciative of difference and variety. You champion the one who stands apart.
- clear and convicted about what’s important and what/who you stand for.
And yes, I, for one, would LOVE to have someone-like-you on my team.
If you’re feeling unclear about how to say ‘Look at me, the whole of me: look what I bring to my work and my world’ and would like to emerge, like Liz, in colour “I’m going for it and I know where I want to be”, explore my coaching packages and book a free taster coaching session by signing up here.
PS. Comment below how as a mother you are MORE than BEFORE, and share this with like-minded friends.
I started coaching sessions with Kate in February earlier this year. Not only have I rediscovered myself again after becoming a mother, but the lost me after years of compromising my values, the true me and who I really am. It’s a great relief finding myself and through that being able to be more present and there for others in my various roles, including the one as a mother.
Hi
I love the sound of that enlightened employer, do they actually exist?! Becoming a mum unleashed in me a new creativity: an inner capability and resourcefulness and a thirst to grow and develop my talents beyond my existing work role where I felt stuck and stagnant. I felt a compulsion to become self employed to be able to work on my own terms and fit work around my other important commitments. Slowly but surely I have ‘birthed’ and am now nurturing my ‘business baby’! It’s great to see I’m in good company!
Hi Hilary, Your words are so spot on – I see this creativity and resourcefulness in mothers all the time, even when they/we are *feeling* the opposite!